Reboot

I had to laugh yesterday.  I stopped at my In-Laws to drop something off and the first thing my Father-In-Law says is "Is this an 'on' day?"  Well, yesterday was more "on" than the day before (I had make-up on for starters) but for some reason this week has not been working like a well oiled machine.  I'm thinking this Momma could use a day/or two of "tune-up" work.  You know when your vehicle breaks down and goes in to get fixed, or your computer dies on you and you send it to your brothers for a few days for a reboot.  That is what I'm talking... just a day away without kids... school... housecleaning... dinner making...   I know all you homeschoolin Momma's (or any Momma) are feelin me.... sometimes we just need a break.

Being honest here, there are days that I wish I could throw in the towel and call it quits.  I think all of us have been in this place at some point in our lives.  Where we feel very inadequate, like we just aren't living up to our full potential.  I have visited this place many times.  Especially since becoming a parent and starting the journey of homeschooling.  My personality is not geared towards the sunrise bootcamp type homemaking/educating schedule.  I am reminded in many different ways how far from perfection I am.  I struggle in this area.  It is very easy to hear the lies that I am not good enough, that my home isn't clean enough, things aren't picked up enough, dinner isn't good enough, my kids aren't schooled enough.  The list goes on.

Yesterday the word 'retard' was spoken, so I looked it up in the dictionary.


verb |riˈtärd| [ trans. ]
delay or hold back in terms of progress, development, or accomplishment : his progress was retarded by his limp.

Yup that is kind how I view myself at times.  I feel held back in progress, development, or accomplishment.  Of course we all know the noun definition of this word.

noun |ˈrēˌtärd| |ˈritɑrd| |rəˈtɑrd| |riˈtɑrd| |ˈriːtɑːd| offensivea mentally handicapped person (often used as a general term of abuse)

And sadly, I sometimes feel like that.  I am not saying this to get accolades.  I am saying this because I think we all deal with the lies of Satan at different points in our lives.  Some of us more than others, but in a world where you need to look perfect, act perfect, keep a perfect house, cook a perfect dinner (every night), your children need to be perfect... it is hard not to see all the area's that we just can't measure up to that 'perfect' standard.

When I get a little down, it is always good for me to go back and remind myself of who I am in Christ.  I did this today, I needed a little pick-me-up-from-my-bootstraps kind of inspiration.  So here are a few...

In Christ... I am the salt of the earth and the light of the world.
   I am a branch of the true vine, Jesus, a channel of His life.     I have been chosen and appointed by God to bear fruit.     I am a temple of God.     I am seated with Christ in the heavenly realm.     I am God's workmanship, created for good works.


The last one really hit me.  I am God's workmanship... He created me... He made me the way that I am for a purpose... So when I am getting down on myself because I am not 'all that' I am really telling God that he made junk.  Some how I really don't think I should be telling my creator that I didn't like what he made.  I know he can handle my complaints, but really, I am who I am because that is the way He made me and I should rejoice that I am 'something special'.

Tomorrow when I wake up, it is going to be with a smile on my face and a song in my heart.  But just to be clear.... since GOD didn't make my body wake up at the crack of dawn, I am not going to fight it, I will go along with His creation and get up at my normal time.

Even though I have been in a funk these past few days, these three beautiful blessings are my life's calling and I am so thankful for them.  

And now I must go, my husband just came home and surprised me with a night out (I still have to make dinner though) but we are going to the Reba Concert tonight.... Yippy!!