Exodus

Micah and I just got done reading his history lesson for the day. It was about Moses, the 10 plagues, and the freeing of the Israelites from the rule of Pharaoh. After we were done reading Micah said that if it had been the clone troopers they would have needed light sabers and swords. Seeing an opportunity that I didn't want to give up, I sat down at the table and asked him to tell me what he was thinking.

He explained that in Star Wars there was always weapons. They never fought without them. I told him that the Egyptians had weapons, they had swords. He said that the Israelites didn't. I asked him what they DID have that the Egyptians didn't. He said God. I explained to him that is really all we need. I asked him if anyone died on Star Wars when there were battles, he said "Yes". I explained that not one Israelite lost their life in the Exodus from Egypt because they had God. I asked him if he knew what weapon we had to fight with and he told me the Bible, because it is called our sword.

I am not sure how much he understands. I don't know if he grasps how powerful the Bible is, that it is truly the only weapon we need. At times, I think most of us adults don't understand it's power. We don't tap into it, we don't read it, study it, drink it in. We let it sit on our tables, or on a shelf and collect dust.

I clean a house and I remember the first time I cleaned it, there was a Bible on the bottom of a coffee table. It was opened to Mark. I thought how awesome it was that someone who lived in the home was reading the Bible. Next time I went, it was still on the same chapter in Mark. Weeks went by and the Bible's pages were never turned. Around Christmas time, I turned it to Luke 2 thinking that maybe they would read the Christmas story. I don't think they ever did, as a matter a fact, as the weeks ticked by, more and more dust was piling up on the beautiful pages. After a few weeks I picked up the Bible and said, "I am sorry you only seem to get held by me once every other week." I dusted off the pages and closed it, laid it back on the coffee table and prayed that next time I came I would again find it opened. That was about 2 years ago, it is still closed. Every time I clean, it has dust on it. No one touches it, it is there simply for decoration.

How many of our Bibles are simply for decoration? How many are sitting on a table or bookcase covered in a soft blanket of dust just waiting for someone to discover it's power?

I am so thankful for the conversation Micah and I had, so thankful for the reminder that the Bible holds the keys to life, that it is truly all I need. God will meet me in the pages of His book and all I have to do is pick it up and read it.

Blessings!!

Hidden Secret

As I write this, it would be so easy to mask these last weeks in a soft light. To puff myself up and make it look like I am a superwomen mom. But the reality is.... I fail... and sometimes I fail big.

This morning we had such a wonderful message delivered to us from Galations 6. Talking about how we can't hide our struggles because there might be someone who struggles with it too and we could help them if only we share. The message really spoke to me, so I am going to be transparent and share a painful moment, a failure, from this past week.

There are times when I let all of the responsibilities I carry get the best of me. Usually I keep things all together and even if I am failing in a certain area, I will act as if I am not. I don't like people to see my weaknesses and will do whatever it takes to cover them up. Unfortunately my children are the ones who usually see those weaknesses and it is usually not pretty when it happens.

During these past two weeks I have felt at the edge of my breaking point almost everyday. I was doing a lot of baking for my Sister-in-law's fundraiser, I was caring for a friends child almost everyday, I was cleaning houses and our church for extra money, on top of all the normal everyday things. I was so thankful for the beautiful weather and the fact that my kids could play outside most of the day to give me a break.

Tuesday rolled around with the big beautiful sun shining in the sky. I had received a phone call that the little girl that I normally watch was sick and wouldn't be coming. I was relieved that I wasn't going to have an extra child for the day and decided that since it had been three weeks since I took the kids to the library (usually a weekly trip), I would take this unplanned free day and go. I told the kids of my plans and we started to get ready to go. Not only did I tell my kids that we were going to the library, I told them that we could walk/ride bikes/rollerblade there. I guess I was trying to go for the Mom of the day award... but what happened next was anything but pleasant.

I was trying to get the house ready for us to go and the kids kept calling for me, they kept asking for help getting the rollerblades and pads on. They kept asking when we were going to leave, then at one point all three of them were yelling at me at once and I snapped. I lost it.

Explosive anger scares me, I don't like it and I hate for my children to have to endure it. But every once in a while, I lose my so carefully reigned in control and it bubbles out of me like hot lava spraying all who are near me. I literally screamed at them to be quiet. I yelled that I couldn't be everything for everyone all the time. That sometimes, I can only do one thing at a time. I went on and on about how they demand so much from me all the time and that they needed to do somethings for themselves. I told them that I was only one person expected to do the work of 10 and I needed a break.

My precious kids just stared at me with wide eyes. Tyler and Jillian silently went out the backdoor while Micah walked up to me and said, "Momma, what do you need help with, I can help you get your work done." That is when I crumbled and cried. The pressures of the past weeks had been released on my poor children and yet my ever growing boy acted like a young man and offered his help to remove the load his Momma was carrying. He silently did as I asked and when he completed something he said "anything else Momma?"

It was an ugly moment. God tells us not to sin in our anger and I was dripping in sin... my children were drenched in my anger and there was nothing I could do to change what I had just done. Except ask for forgiveness.

I grabbed the library book bag and headed out the door, leaving all the ugliness behind me. It ended up being a fun day with my kids. We enjoyed our trip to the library and we enjoyed the rest of the warm beautiful day. But the memory of my outburst still haunts me. I relive it over and over, I can't get it out of my head.

So now what... I can say that I will try harder not to lose control again and I will, but is that the end of the story? I think not. I am not entirely sure of what more there is, but I am thinking that God has something packed up in this story for me to discover. There is a lesson here to be learned and I have yet to figure out what it is.

Blessings!!

How Sweet He Is

Tyler just walked up to me, out of the blue, wrapped his arms around my waist, looked into my eyes and said... "Your Gorgeous" ...my heart needed to hear those words!!

He is going to make some women a wonderful husband someday if he remembers that one little phrase!

Blessings!!

brokenhearted

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those that are crushed in spirit

Ps. 34:18

I know that I posted earlier today, but I just need to talk.... So I turn to my ever loving blog, who lets me pour my heart out and loves me no matter what I say.

Have you ever done something for someone that you thought was nice and get totally slapped in the face? Well that just happened to me. I thought I was being nice, but guess what, apparently that person didn't feel the same way.

It's times like these that I wish I could crawl in a hole and keep to myself. Life would be so much easier, more pleasant, and less crap to deal with. You put your neck out there and then it gets chopped off.

Maybe tomorrow I will be less dramatic, but right now it just feels so very hurtful, and that person doesn't even care.

WORDS HURT PEOPLE... WATCH WHAT YOU SAY AND HOW YOU SAY IT!!

There are times that I wonder why it seems my heart is so exposed to the knives of others and theirs never seem to get pierced...

I have so much more that I want to write, but I am going to take my own advice and stop before I say something that is hurtful.

He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds

Ps. 147:3

Praying that God soothes my hurting heart...

goodnight

Adding

For a while now Kevin and I have been feeling a call that maybe church the way we do it now isn't where God wants us to be. Not Saying corporate church is bad, it is very much needed, but we are feeling God pull us in a different direction.

While still continuing to go to TCC (our corporate church) we have also started to attend a home church. It has been a blessing to connect with people who have already traveled the road we are now on. We meet on Wednesday nights to sing, read the Bible, share, and pray together.

Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent, we talked about giving something up or adding something to remind us of God's love. Some of us gave something up, some of us added something, and some of us are still thinking about what they might do for Lent:-)

I was one of them who added. Although I do spend time in the Word, it is not enough. At times I feel very separated from God and it's my own fault. So I decided instead of giving up sweets, pop, junk food, all the things that would be hard for me, it was more important to add time with my Abba. That is what I have been doing. Spending time in His Word.

I am not going to say that I have been perfect in my daily reading. I haven't. But I have been doing much better and God has been speaking. My favorite Bible version is the NIV, probably because I have grown up with it and it is familiar to me, but I do have a New American Standard/Message Parallel Bible that has been a blessing. **Disclaimer** I DO NOT BELIEVE THE MESSAGE IS THE BIBLE, I believe it is another tool to use to grasp what God has to say to us in the Bible. I have come across some "verses" in the Message that have really spoken to me.

Romans 6 around verse 16 (the message doesn't have verses) - "there are some acts of so-called freedom that destroy freedom. Offer yourselves to sin, for instance, and it's your last free act." - Wow, how true. We feel we have "the right" to do what we want, but God is saying that it will lead to death. How many times have we done our free act and wound up broken and bound because of it?

Romans 7 about verse 13 - "Sin simply did what sin is so famous for doing: using the good as a cover to tempt me to do what would finally destroy me." - Satan is so good at tricking us, isn't he? He can candy coat anything and make it look good, when it is nothing but rotting sin. This world is FULL of candy coated rotting sin, and it traps even the "best" Christians. I guess that is why God tells us to always be on the look out, because Satan is just waiting to release his trap.

There is a trap for each one of us Christians, made especially for us, it is where we are weakest, that is where Satan grabs a hold of you. If you really look at your heart to see where you are weak, that is right where Satan will be waiting for you. Psalm 139:23-24 - "Search me O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting."

There is so much more I would love to write about in Chapters 7 and 8, but really don't have the time right now to do it. I could spend all day reading and writing what is on my heart, because believe me, there is a lot there, but I don't get paid to do that, and there is too much to do around here to spend the day typing away!

Blessings!!

Phone Call

I got a call at 7:07 am this morning. Calls before 8 am are never good. I jumped out of bed and grabbed the phone expecting the worst. I was shocked at what I heard when I answered the phone.

"Mommy there is throw up all over the blanket." Micah said. "You threw up???" I asked. I went running downstairs to find Micah on the couch with the blanket on him and him telling me that the throw up was all over it. I am still thinking he threw up until he tells me it was Romeo that threw up. He tells me that he fed him the right amount of food..... Romeo can get sick if he eats too much, drinks too much, or eats people food.

How did Micah call me?? He grabbed Kevin's cell phone because he didn't want to come upstairs.

No question on whether or not he knows our phone number :-)

Blessings!!

March 12 from 3-7pm

Fundraising Event For

Angie Hartley-Peters

Who is Currently Fighting Cancer

HOME & CRAFT EXPO FUNDRAISING EVENT

Friday, March 12 from 3-7 @

Freedom Christian School

6340 Autumn, Hudsonville

*Bake Sale

* $1 Raffle

*Silent Auction

~ 1- overnight stay at Amway Grand~1-over night stay at Courtyard by Marriott ~ Marykay Basket~ Paramount Coffee Basket ~

~ Beautiful Sterling Silver Necklace ~ 5 Sterling Silver Earring Sets ~ Fleece Tied Blanket ~ Invincibelle Spirit Hydrangea ~

~ Photo Prints by Angie ~ Miche Bag~ Rebeka Rosa Purse~ Baby Gift Basket~Sentry Safe~7 pairs of shoes~ Premier Jewelry Set~ Signed Sports Memorabilia~

over 30 items and more keep coming!!!

*And over 25 vendors to shop from

Please Come Out To Support Angie in Her Journey to Fight Cancer

Save the Date… Friday, March 12 from 3-7

Kevin's brother Chris and his wife Angie have been hit hard with a devastating disease. Breast Cancer. Angie was diagnosed a few months ago and has walked an incredible road so far, but they have a long way to go. She has been through surgery and has two more chemo sessions to go. Once chemo is done and she starts to get her strength back, she has to have more surgery.

This has been a very hard journey for their family. Angie had her first surgery in December and since then has not been able to care for their family. They have been relying on friends and family to care for their two small children, bring in meals, and care for their home. With all the help Chris has been able to maintain working full time, which is a blessing, but the medical bills keep mounting.

Our cousin has put together this fundraiser for Chris and Angie and we are spreading the word. God's hand has been in this event from the beginning. People, who don't even know Angie, have been donating items for the silent auction. There has been an incredible out pouring of love already and we are excited to see what God has in store.

My contribution for this event is going to be my braided bread. I am not yet sure how many loaves I will have, so if you would like to purchase one, be at the fundraiser early, I am thinking they will go fast :-)

Even if you are unable to attend the event, our family covets your prayers for Chris, Angie, Abbie, and Cade. We believe in miracles and we are believing that Angie will be cancer free!!

Blessings!!

Climbing Ladders

**Warning** This post contains pictures that I am embarrassed to say I took. But since I really don't care that you see my less than attractive pictures I am blasting them out here for all see.

I have lots and lots of pictures of our remodeling that has been taking place over the last year, but have yet to share many of them. We still have a ways to go, but we are on the home stretch!

One of the challenges we have encountered during this period of remodeling has been....the kids. Thinking back (13 yrs ago) to the last time we remodeled a house, we had it so much easier... no little people getting in the way, all we had to do was put the dogs out in the backyard and we could work all day with no interruptions. This time around we have little people that LOVE to help and for the most part, they haven't been able to.

Kevin did allow Micah to help with some of the crown on the new cabinets. Micah thought that was really cool.

This is what it looked like when the crown was all done (don't mind the mess on the counter, we were very much under construction at this point). And then we had a night when Kevin was working on putting the crown up in our entryway. Kev let the kids each climb up the ladder, which was very nerve racking for me since they were about 20 ft up. Tyler and Jilli were a little more scared, but Micah climbed right up and touched the crown. It was a fun night for the kids, because even though they didn't help build anything they still felt apart of the project because Daddy let them explore, for a little while, the world of ladders.

Nothing really spectacular, but it is a great family memory. I know that someday we will be having Thanksgiving dinner with our kids, their spouses, and grandchildren when we will hear... "Do you remember when Dad let us climb up the ladder...."

Blessings!!

Pain in the Neck

It's that time of year again, where I put on my running shoes and head out to freeze the nose hairs as I run around the neighborhood. I hate the thought of running until I am outside with Romeo and then I love it. It's a great feeling of accomplishment.

Like last year, I will be running the 5/3rd Riverbank Run 10k (6.2 miles). When I read 6.2 miles I think nothing of it..... It's really not that far, until I am actually out running 6.2 miles. You just don't realize the distance that it is, until your feet are hitting that pavement for an hour. then I get tired just thinking about it. I am, however, really excited about the race and started training for it last week.

Sunday was a beautiful day for a run. Not too cold, not too sunny, it was perfect. I was 1.5 miles into my run when I looked down to watch the footing of my feet (I was running the trail by my house and hit a small patch of snow and ice). When I looked down I felt a pain in the back of my neck. Not sure what it was I kept going and the pain got worse and worse. By mile 2 I was convinced that I did something to my neck, but didn't want to stop running because I needed to log my miles in for the week. Kind of dumb I know, but I finished out my run, came home, took my shower and felt the full effect of whatever I did to my neck.

I took meds to help relax my muscles, meds to mask the pain, meds that made me sleepy, but nothing helped. I couldn't move my neck at all. I couldn't even lay down in bed. Kevin propped me up with 5 pillows to try and make me comfortable. By Monday morning, I knew that whatever I did to my neck wasn't going to get better on it's own, so I called the chiropractor. Thankfully I could go straight there to be adjusted (note** driving is difficult when you can't move your neck). After the adjustment he told me to go home, keep icing my neck and relax. I kindly reminded him that I have 3 very active children that I homeschool and relaxing isn't a school subject I teach.... but that I would try my best.

Tuesday morning I could move my neck better, but it was still very painful. Went back in for another adjustment and was told that the pain I was feeling should lessen over the next few days and I should be able to run again by next week. Thank goodness, because I am going to have to catch up on my training schedule after taking a week off, not looking forward to that!

Today, I am moving around much better, my neck still has pain but I can move it without screaming ouch. A few more days of rest (whatever that is) and I should be ready to hit the pavement again, if I can find it with all of this white stuff that keeps falling!!! Spring Where Are You!!

Blessings!!

Pigtails and Lip Gloss

Since we have been talking about being creative and making messes, I thought this next post would fit in nicely.

My sweet, sweet Jilli Joy plays as hard as any boy and doesn't mind getting a little dirty, but she is still ALL girl. She loves to watch me put makeup on. She loves for me to dry her hair with the blow dryer and use the round brush to make it extra pretty. She loves her nails and toes painted. She loves to make her self beautiful for her Daddy.

Last Friday she had wanted her hair in piggy tails (that is not usual, she doesn't like her hair up in anything), for some reason, on this day, she wanted her hair up. I of course love to play with her hair, so took a little extra time to make sure that it was beautiful. She kept her piggies in all day (also not usual) and kept asking me when Daddy was going to be home to show him how pretty she was. Out of all the days in the last 3 1/2 months Daddy has been home, he was gone working this day and it was so hard for his little girl to wait for her Daddy. About 5:30pm I told her that he should be home any minute and I went upstairs. I came back down about 15 minutes later to find Jilli on the counter, making herself even more beautiful for her Daddy.

I keep some lip gloss in a little basket next to the kitchen sink. She knows that Mommy usually puts some on just before Daddy gets home, so she thought she should put some on too.Except Mommy only uses a little bit of lip gloss. Not HALF THE TUBE!! Remembering my lesson from the other day, instead of getting (too) mad, I grabbed my camera and took some pictures.Doesn't she look guilty? We were able to wipe off the extras and Daddy walked in the door to his beautiful little girl, who had taken the time to make sure her hair and makeup was done perfectly.

Just to clarify, Jilli knows she is not to touch ANY OF MOMMY'S MAKEUP without my permission first. Thankfully it was only lip gloss and not red lipstick!!

Blessings!!