you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139:13-16
I painted these beautiful words around the walls of our nursery, the room that is now Jilli's bedroom. They are still there... I just can't bring myself to paint over them yet.
This past week these words have come alive for me again. God knows us, He created us! Over the past week, I have started to learn about an amazing gift called dyslexia. A gift that God hand picked for our very precious son Tyler. Our funny, crazy, loving, always thinking out-of-the box, bright, smart, playful, son.
You see, we have had a secret for some time now. A secret we've kept very well hidden from most. Tyler struggles to read. We have been working and working on it. We have tried all different kinds of approaches. We have done phonics, memorization, different curriculums. Nothing seems to help. I kept thinking that one of these days it's all going to come together and finally make sense to Tyler. That day hasn't come.
There have been some very defining moments in our struggle. This past summer he went to a VBS and because kids in his class were reading and writing, he was to do some writing for a project they were working on. I had no idea this was happening and when I picked him up and asked him what he did, he told me that "I kept looking for the perfect color crayon, Mommy. I never found it so I didn't have to write anything." My heart just broke for him. He was desperately trying to hide his secret. Then over the past 2 months he has started to rub and pull on a section of his hair that is now bald. It is an anxiety thing. He does it when he is concentrating on trying to read. My son is struggling...
Last week my Mom calls me with a name of a women who does reading assessments and asked me to call her. I called and talked to her for awhile. She told me that what I was describing was dyslexia, she told me she was doing a seminar on it that night and I should come. My Mom and I went and learned so much.
I thought dyslexia was just flipping of letters, numbers, or words... it is so much more. It's the way a dyslexic learns and thinks.
Yesterday Tyler and I went for his reading assessment. I was pretty sure he was dyslexic from what I had been reading but after the assessment was done, what I was told left me a little shaken. Tyler is 'deeply dyslexic'. I wasn't expecting the 'deeply' part.
As a mother my heart hurts because I know he is going to have to work harder at learning than most kids his age. But guess what...
God made him this way. He knows what He is doing and I completely trust that He has great plans for Tyler because of the way he thinks! Dyslexia is a gift! Dyslexics are problem solvers, they think out side of the box. They can see problems before they happen. They are very intelligent, smart people who often go on to do amazing things.
For a while now I have been telling Tyler that God has something very special waiting for him to do. I don't know what it is, but he is such a special person, that I had no doubt it is going to be a-m.a.z.i.n.g! This diagnosis just confirms it for me...
Our son IS special, he HAS a gift and it's called DYSLEXIA. This is not a learning disability, this a very special blessing from God. To be hand chosen to think differently than 80% all people, is a gift.
In two weeks Tyler will start receiving the tools he needs to be able to learn. He is going to start 6 hr daily sessions with Mrs. McPhall for a week. During this time she will be able to teach Tyler how to use clay to "see" the words he hasn't been able to see in 3.5yrs of trying to read. In only two weeks his world is going to open up to him in a way that it never has before.
In two weeks I will also be taught how to teach my son in the very special way he needs to learn. In two weeks my world will open up in a way it never has before, I will be able to "see" how my son needs to learn for the very first time. I will be able to understand him in a way I never was able to before.
I have been working through my feelings this past week about all of this. I have done some serious soul searching, but I have come to a place of peace. First, if Tyler was in school, there would be no guarantee that this would have been caught. As I was told by Mrs. McPhall, homeschool mom's usually catch this earlier than kids that are in school. Because I am the one that works with Tyler day in and day out, I know what has been tried, I know exactly what he is taught because I teach it. Kevin and I are also so thankful that our son hasn't been "labeled" and put in the resource room. He hasn't been "dumbed down". We have a clean slate in which to work, to encourage, to make this gift a positive learning experience for him. Something Tyler can be proud of. Lastly, because Tyler is at home he will get the one on one instruction that he needs. Especially in these first few years!
1 comment:
I spent many many hours in the resource room and was never once called dumb by the other kids. We tend to be our own toughest critics. You are very lucky that you get to work with Tyler every day and were able to catch it early on. I didn't get formally tested until college! Hopefully, with all the right tools, Tyler won't have to struggle through school like so many of us do. Hang in there Tyler! You got this!
Kerri
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