Kids and Questions

One of the great things about kids is that they are pretty vocal about their grief. There really is no questioning what they are thinking, because they just say it. I think as adults we internalize everything, we are not really open about how our hearts are hurting. We don't express our thoughts and feelings like children.

In this past week I have had to deal with some funny and some sad questions that my kids have asked about death, dying, and living. By far Jilli is my most vocal about Grandma and how she misses her. She wants pictures and she wants to talk about Grandma all the time. She will be random and just blurt out that she misses Grandma and starts crying. Some of the questions I have fielded are....

Is Grandma all sandy now? This came shortly after visiting the grave. The dirt/sand was covering the hole but there was no grass yet. The boys just ask if there is grass over Grandma yet, whenever we drive by the cemetery.

Do you think Grandma is playing with Simba, Nala, and Annie? Jilli had asked when Grandma was still living if when she got to Heaven if she would take care of our puppies that have died. Now she wants to make sure that she is following through with that :-)

Was Grandma your out-law? Micah asked me this before the funeral on Monday. I just had to laugh, I then explained that she was my In-Law and that as far as I knew, I didn't know any out-laws.

Why did Jesus need to take Grandma home to Heaven? Makes me cry every time one of them asks this one.

When praying with Jilli the other night, I didn't pray for Grandpa. She was very quick to say that I needed to pray to Jesus that "Grandpa would be able to have good sleep because he no longer had Grandma to keep him warm."

Do you think Grandma still remembers us? This one came last night and is by far the one that has tugged my heart the most. Of course Jilli was the one who asked this. Glad Kevin was home to help answer this question....

Wednesday night Micah was asked what his favorite memory of Grandma was. His answer.....

Everything.

I was talking, this morning, to the friend that asked him that question and she told me how she thought Micah's answer was so great. I was kind of reflecting on that and then said to her that Grandma wasn't just this old person that you went and saw every now and then. She cultivated a relationship with you. She remembered things and then asked you about them. She couldn't play with the kids, or even go walking with them. But that really didn't seem to matter to them or her. She loved them the very best she could and they knew it.

There is a picture of Jilli when she was younger sitting next to Grandma on the couch at the cottage. Grandma was telling her a story and Jilli was very intent on listening. I wish I could show you that picture, because I think it sums up how Grandma, in her limited physical state, could make you feel like you were the only one in the room. That you were the most important person to her in that moment.

She was very special...