Yahweh Rophe

This past week has been emotional for me. There was a situation that had been going on with a friend of ours that was finally (we thought) resolved last week Thursday in a 4 hour long meeting. It's not really the meeting or the fact that the issues are apparently not resolved that has me upset though. It is what I saw/see in people. Lack of forgiveness, unwarranted accusations, and detriment of character.

How easy it is to look at others and point fingers at them as to what they are doing wrong. How easy it is not to look deep into your own heart and take time to reflect on what lives there. I have been doing the painful part of reflecting...

Psalm 139:23-24 ~ Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

God knows how much I desire to be a beautiful person, not just on the outside, but on the inside. Anyone who knows me a little knows that I like to look good, that I take the time to do my hair and makeup everyday. That I don't run around the house in sweats even if I am not going anywhere that day. How much time do I take everyday to make sure the inside of me is beautiful? That it radiates God's love to anyone who I am in contact with. Sadly.... it seems as if my hair is more important. That was a really hard thing to see about myself.. it's even harder to write. To know that there will be people reading this very ugly truth about me is scary.

The ugliness that I have been seeing in people regarding my friend's situation is the same ugliness that I see in me. Lack of forgiving, unwarranted accusations, detriment of character... Guilty as charged. Knowing that all those things stem from hurt, doesn't excuse me from those sins. God calls me to love, forgive, not speak against another person. Regardless of the pain that lives in my heart, that is what God calls me to do. It is not my job to make sure everyone walks the straight and narrow. It is my job to make sure I walk the straight and narrow.

Matthew 7:13-14 ~ Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few will find it.

Getting to the point of understanding what God wants me to do, and then letting go of the hurt that is the root of my ugliness has been a slow process. How do I let go of the pain and trust God? How do I trust the ones who have hurt me?

Awhile ago my Pastor suggested that I study the names of God. To get to know Him in a deeper/richer way. I had bought a book a few years back "Praying the Names of God" by Ann Spangler, but had never read it. So I had started to study the names of God. Guess what I came a crossed....

Yahweh Rophe ~ The Lord Who Heals

The Hebrew word rophe means "heal, cure, restore, or make whole." The book goes on to say that as you pray, to ask Yahweh Rophe to search your heart and if he uncovers any sin, ask for forgiveness and then pray for healing. Do you ever get goose bumps when you read something that touches you so closely you feel like it was written just for you?

Yahweh Rophe is searching my heart, He is bringing to surface all my sins, I am praying for a whole heart again. One that is not anxious and scared, but beautiful. I want to be the kind of person people love to be around because God's goodness just oozes out of them. It might take me awhile, but I am determined that with God's help I will get to a place of beauty.

I am going to leave you with Monday's prayer from my book:

Yahweh Rophe, I bow before you today to acknowledge that you are not only my Creator but the Lord who heals me. Please heal me today, body and soul, and do the same for my loved ones. I pray that you will heal whatever is bitter in our lives, transforming us in the ways that glorify you.

Amen.